After having
lived abroad for an extended period, even the Portuguese themselves, as much as
the newcomers of other nationalities, complain bitterly about all the problems
associated with moving back and settling down. Entire bookshelves are filled
with the impressions of famous authors, on this subject.
Like everywhere
else, it is safer to adapt (or re-adapt) to the ways of the locals than to
fight them. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Here are a few tips, learned the
hard way:
- Waiting for
your turn, whether in line or until your number is called, shows civilized behaviour
anywhere, but skipping it is a local capital offense. A busy minister (now
former minister), who tried to finesse ahead of his turn, was exposed endlessly
and shamed with delight by the media.
- If you don’t
intend to assemble yourself the furniture (or can beg, or cajole, or bribe your
other half into doing that...) then don’t buy stuff at IKEA. It is easier and may
be cheaper to buy the finished thing somewhere else.
- The higher up
you go in official contacts, business meetings or cosmopolitan professionals,
the more punctual your counterpart is and expects you to be. This is a recent
improvement, which does not extend to the larger part of the population.
- For a regular
appointment, time is just a statement of intention: “see you between three and
four” is still very common and typically means the time when they will start
thinking about it. Therefore, the one who asked for the meeting should be there
first, say at four o’clock, carrying the iPad or a magazine and prepared to
wait anything from 15 minutes (local friends) to several hours (prominent doctors
or public services) depending on the circumstances.
- For
deliveries, be sure you are their first stop in the morning, or you would wait
for the tardiness accumulated during the day, well beyond the optimistic time
they quoted for expected arrival, or even the reasonable understanding of the
word “late”.
- For workmen,
take note of the day and time (if any) they promised to come, but in practice
go about your life unconstrained. The likelihood of any of them coming at the
appointed time is close to nil.
If you are
lucky, they will call you on the phone after ringing the bell at your door,
either at a much later time or at a random later date. Then, you can go through
the totally useless routine of scolding them for not keeping their promised
schedule. Otherwise, if you happen to be in town (and are of a revengeful
disposition...), say you will be back home in five minutes. Make them wait on
your doorstep for whatever time it takes until you eventually arrive.
If you are not
lucky, you will not hear from them again, or at least not until you call their
supervisor or the administration of their company, to complain.
Portuguese, like
people of every other nationality, do not hesitate to gripe about their country
and their compatriots’ shortcomings, but will hesitate less than most in
pointing out the equivalent failings of any foreign critic. Being famously
prone to wander the wide world, they wrote the book about the foibles of others.
Examples?
- On the one
hand, Americans in France will enjoy the artsy way of life, but get grumpy
about things like having the WC separated from the bathroom, the casual
acceptance of nudity in ads, TV and movies, or the unblinking reference to politicians’
affairs as private matters.
- On the other
hand, French in America will circle their wagons together, should they not be
tainted by the local rustic habits: like having a sandwich at the office for
lunch, instead of a full course meal at a restaurant with a glass of wine or
two; or to be seen anywhere close to a fast food joint serving pre-chewed
ersatz meat.
Changing habits
is always difficult to or from any culture.
It does not take
long to get used to the local ways and harden the soul. In time, foreigners
will get it, and the day they return home can sometimes be a dramatic
experience.
Portuguese can
be friendly, but usually sensitiveness to criticism does not even penetrate
skin deep: Yeah, right, it is irritating when foreigners do not understand us,
but that is their problem; we have been at the cusp of civilizations when each
of their countries, in turn, either broke down in pieces like the Roman empire,
rose from barbaric life like the English or joined the family of nations, like
the new countries of the Americas or the isolated Asians. After all, most of
them have been touched by our past bold wanderings, occasional excesses and all
time failings, whether they like it or not.
Lisbon and Portugal
as a whole always seem to have had Chronos, the god of time, on their side. The
motto is: keep rowing bravely until your sails catch the wind and then you are
sure to get to destination (hopefully, without much further effort...).
Eventually. So, what is there to be hurried about, today of all days?
JSR
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